1. |
Gunslinger
03:55
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Damn! It was a casual day when I've been watching my favorite high noon show
when my internet got so fucking slow
And what else can a cowboy do
When connection ain't pushing through
Than to put on a hat, get on a horse
and head to the saloon of course
Barman was an assface
Fucker was making me mad
And all it took was something that he said
So I put a gun against his head
My gun is guiding all my actions
And everything I see
with poisonous efficiency
it kills out all the heat
and then ticking away, and then ticking away
when the clock has started to indicate
that slow internet is the main cause of death
IN THE WILD WILD WEST
Before I realized there already was a price on my head
some bastard took me to the county jail
For fucks sake
It started like a perfect fucking day
And now I'm stuck here with most wanted men
They put me down in the cell with this filthy gringo
and the way he smelled made me head to the window
I took a look outside - what a surprise
I saw the sheriff, talking to another guy
He handed over my bounty, guy’s face got brighter
I recognized my internet provider!
God damn! what a treachery!
Blackmailing sheriff over dirty browser history!
Then it all made sense to me
So many cowboys died
all thanks to this fucking clown
So I challenged him to a high noon showdown
My gun is guiding all my actions
And everything I see
with poisonous efficiency
it kills out all the heat
and then ticking away, and then ticking away
when the clock has started to indicate
that slow internet is the main cause of death
"Allright, you sick fuck.
So you think you can mess with a cowboy's internet and not take any god damn consequences?
Well, it's your lucky day.
'Cause I've been watching all seasons of 'The Gunsliger' on Westflix.
And now I’m gonna show you something
So you better watch and learn."
SO I WENT AND SHOT THE HORSEFUCKER DEAD
BUT ONE THING SLIPPED MY MIND
THAT WITHOUT HIM, THERE WILL BE NO INTERNET
NO INTERNET
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2. |
Flannel Fiasco
03:00
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Go!
Every morning I take a hacksaw and neatly trim my beard
but it’s not my only routine, I also chop down noisy scene kids
Hey, what’s up pal? What’s going on?
How long you’ve been growing that?
Can I get your barber’s Instagram profile?
I’m copping trees left and right
chop chop, fuck you and your barbershop
So be a man a help me out
like a bearded man
that you are
like a bearded man
10 Dollar coffee nametag to me seems so bizzare
that’s not an arrow tattoo, that’s a ten inch chainsaw scar
I’m copping trees left and right
chop chop, fuck you and your barbershop
So be a man and help me out
chop chop, what the fuck is indie pop?
‘Cause having prepubescent chest hair
don’t mean, you can leave the daycare
So grab and axe and represent
Hey, what’s up pal, want some food on the go?
Want some gluten free avocado?
Why don’t you stop by my girlfriend’s slam poetry show?
So fuck your bowties and fuck your suspenders
‘cause you’re all just a bunch of pretenders
I’m copping trees left and right
chop chop, fuck you and your barbershop
So be a man and help me out
chop chop, what the fuck is indie pop?
‘Cause having prepubescent chest hair
don’t mean, you can leave the daycare
So grab and axe and represent
Some men chop trees
Some wear high heels
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3. |
Grove Street
03:22
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With every day slowly dragging away
I'm doubting the choices that I had made
Fancy suit, fancy suitcase, stuck in this fancy workplace
Is a kid that is missing his rock'n'roll days
Like Peter Pan I rejoiced
hoping that growing old was but a choice
But there was no wake up call
that forced me to give it all
up and end this brawl
The only time
I get to feel awake and alive
Is when I crank it up with my overdrive
and that takes me back
It's like coming home
like we're a bunch of guys with nowhere to go
But when we play these chords
it freezes time, like Sub-zero
It feels like coming back to Grove Street
I'm taking down every word you say
like: "Settle down and throw it all away"
"You're not a rockstar and you'll never be"
But I’m at least facing reality
It's not about going all the way
writing songs, recording every day
but as as long as it helps you breathe
It's worth coming back to Grove Street
When we were sixteen, breakdowns were on repeat
Now we like Springsteen, Toto, Celine
When we're sixty, we'll play jazz
and when we're dead, it's dead metal, I guess
The only time
I’ll go and take a three hour ride
is to brush the dust of our old guitars
To forget about life
forget about life
I left behind
I'm taking down every word you say
like: "Settle down and throw it all away"
"You're not a rockstar and you'll never be"
But I’m at least facing reality
It's not about going all the way
writing songs, recording every day
but as as long as it helps you breathe (helps you breathe)
It's worth coming back to Grove Street
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4. |
The Zombeats
02:58
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You hold this grudge against me
and anything that I say, or any note that I play
doesn't seem to make it go away
giving it all, giving it all
for something that I have felt once before
I’ll take the blame
for all my choices that led me to this stage
There are some things in my life that I regret
some things I should say
though some I shouldn’t mention
Like starting a band long after I was dead
or dying in the first place
which can mess up with your plans
'cause it ain’t easy for us zombies
to rule the world of rock 'n' roll
Z-z-z-zombeats, z-z-z-Zombeats
Z-z-z-zombeats, z-z-z-Zombeats
Sometimes i wish that we were more ahead
but most of all I wish we weren't just living dead
It's hard to play the guitar and as we speak
It's hard to keep it together when you're losing your limbs
And all the fester.. ugh
Want to come and see our brainless orchestra?
We're all just rotting cadavers but we know how to play
Give us a call and we'll play on your driveway
Some shows are harder because of the smell
that some people can't stand
most of them simply pass out
and some of us don't handle it so well
when our drummer falls apart
You hold this grudge against me
and anything that I say, or any note that I play
doesn't seem to make it go away
giving it all, giving it all
for something that I have felt once before
I’ll take the blame
for all my choices that led me to this stage
led me to this stage
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5. |
||||
I searched for variations in my childhood life
in 6 am TV they were never to be found
One day I changed the channel and couldn't believe my eyes
I felt a feeling, so warm in my heart
oh my god
who is that?
I see your eyes wide open
I know you'd love me if you could
yet I remain heartbroken
I never thought you understood
Of all the times we've spoken
girl, were you even listening?
'Cause you're the one I've chosen
and I’m never gonna let you go
My mum and dad, they were furious
said I'm delirious but that made me want you even more
I asked: “what is the problem?”
and they told me you're not supposed love an animated rodent
Fuck them you know?
‘cause this is our love
and they say that love has no boundaries
And it don’t matter if you have a tail or giant ears
or that you’re a cartoon and I’m a man in my mid twenties
So come on, now
let's leave Monty Jack
behind
My love, I don't care what they say
let's take your gyro plane and fly really really far away
I say, you can fix bikes and cars, I'll run a restaurant
so let’s get you out of that fucking TV
I see your eyes wide open
I know you'd love me if you could
yet I remain heartbroken
I never thought you understood
Of all the times we've spoken
girl, were you even listening?
'Cause you're the one I've chosen
and I’m never gonna let you go
never gonna let you go
NO!
You showed me how it's like to love someone
and for that I'll always remember you
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